This is my first time writing something like this on my blog and i think i really dont know what to do so i just write it here.
have you ever have a regret because you didn't use your time in the past properly to thinking about what do you want in the future, your dreams and your purpose?? if you never have any regret then congratulation for you! because i'm in a big regret feeling now, i think today is the future of my past, now i regret about everything, about why i didnt thinking and trying to find my purpose or fight for what i want.
I was a graphic design student, i believe everyone will thinking what major you will choose before you come university after you graduate from your high school right?? i admit it i'am a lazy person to thinking about education things like school! i really hate school and studying, because studying at school is really a waste for me and never works well, my english getting better is not because i have a good score at school its all because i watch a lot of english movies so i can speak english well, i can learn anything better if i dont learn it at school, so i was thinking that my goals is i want as soon as possible finish all education things like graduated from university soon and my life will be fine after that and i wont have any depression and under pressure for study. I choose graphic design major because i think i wont meet any theory subject or math things i really hate math and i think this major is simple and part of me have interest with design because it seems fun and cool. I like to created design since in junior high school but then after i came to university its really freaking me out.
I was so excited to learn and created design on computer but then at a few first semester we didnt just do design on computer, we should learn the basic things like drawing, coloring and i dont like it!! after i been through a few semester with drawing things i no longer excited to learn design, i lost my passion for that and become stress and thingking want to end this college life. If i dont have any passion anymore its will hard for me to do that. I also always been so stress if what if i cant graduated at the right time, i keep thinking i would be ashamed if i dont graduated soon, because all of this it make me thinking too much and limit my self to not do any activity except focus on college things. In the middle of my university life i have interest with photography too, i was thinking if i graduated maybe i want to do photography job, but then after i graduated i still cant get any job even in design or photography. I think its because i dont have a courage and confident on my self. My friends told my all my photograph is good but i think its not because of my works i always have a doubt feeling to take a chance and have no confident with my self and i think that what makes me still dont get a job until now.
Now my life feels like i have no purpose i dont know what i like and what i want, i work only as a freelancer and working at home, it really sucks i only staying at home and not go anywhere, i'm 24 years old and i think if i want to go for college again and study what i want i cant just do that i have money problem and i just thinking all i need is to find a job but i dont know what i want to do. This feeling is so bad i really hate it, now what im thinking is i need a job whatever it is and after i have enough money i want to go travelling and i want to live in Bali, i want to continue study on Korean Language (i always have interest with Korea and i was study korean language but then i stop). So, if you are still in high school or university please thinking of what you want, your dreams and your purpose carefully so you wont have any regret in the future just like me.
Dear God, you said i have a good future but this is happening in my life, it feels like i'm stuck here, i have no friends here, i dont have someone who i can share about what i feel so i just write everything here. Please save me from all this situation, just tell me what should i do because right now i really dont know what to do.
Thanks for sharing this. In some ways I connect with you on this. I'm currently in my second year of university, and I feel like every choice I make is more important than it should be. College should be a time where we get to be adventurous and try taking a variety of classes to broaden our interests. But I don't feel like that's what it is for me. There are so many requirements to do for my major, and with every required class that I am not taking, I feel like I am wasting away my time. People keep saying that it's fine to change your major later on, but I know that it's difficult to do so because there would be other requirements to fulfill. Each and every day I wonder if what I'm doing is the right fit for me, or if I don't like it simply because it's school. I know my hopes, dreams, and goals and I know where I want to get to, but I don't know if what I'm doing to get there is the right thing. That's why I say that I connect with you on this. Thank you for sharing your experience. I really hope that you will figure out what to do. I saw some of your photography on your blog, and you are skilled in photography. You should definitely continue pursuing photography if it's what makes you happy. Maybe you could offer to photograph events? Or work for a magazine or something? I'm not sure, but it sounds like art is something you are passionate about, or were passionate about at one point. If you love it enough, don't let something small like a lack of confidence hinder you from doing something you love and could potentially be great at. I really hope things get better for you
ReplyDelete~Andrea Tiffany~
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